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David Blaine’s Shocking New Years Resolution Could Prevent a Trump Presidency

With 2016 at an end, the American people have finally begun the grieving process. From the countless losses of beloved celebrities, to the “deplorable” results of the election, it’s safe to say that the year 2016 has caused a great deal of mental and emotional distress on U.S. citizens. However, in light of the losses, the New Year has greeted people with the opportunity to change the direction of their lives; and some of these people have huge plans.

World-renowned illusionist, David Blaine, freshly announced his profound new years resolution; one that would indisputably shift the course set for the entire United States of America. Blaine will attempt to pull off what he has deemed to be “the all-time greatest magic trick in man’s entire history”. No, David will not be catching bullets in his mouth or freezing himself alive, nor will he need a deck of cards for his next event. He announced that his extraordinary plan is to travel where no man or woman has ever gone before. “We are all capable of infinitely more than we believe”, said Blaine. He continued, “It’s not a matter of where I plan on going, but a matter of when.”

Yes, you read that correctly! David Blaine plans on traveling back in time. If the trick goes as planned, Blaine will be the first person in history to have successfully time-traveled. “I’ll be heading back to November 7th, 2016. I will warn the American people about the election results.” The grand illusionist went on to insist that this would indeed be a real act, and not a simple mind trick. Although he would not release specific details on his methodology, David has set the unimaginable performance to be live in Washington D.C. during Trump’s inauguration. David stated, “I don’t care too much about who is president, I just want to expose the power that lies behind the human psyche.” The alleged sorcerer ended by saying, “The mandala effect has always been a fascinating concept to me… If I am successful in my efforts, then people of the future should still faintly remember a trump presidency.” The American Tribune will continue to follow this story closely and update its viewers upon Mr. Blaine’s results.