Gary Johnson has Been High ‘Pretty Much Constantly’ Since the Election

Gary Johnson high

While Green Party Candidate Jill Stein has been in the news an awful lot since the elections, Libertarian Candidate Gary Johnson has been curiously quiet.

And now we know why: because he got high. In a recent candid interview, Johnson was quoted saying, “I’m pretty high right now”. Asked to elaborate, he said “I’m going to be honest with you, I’ve been high pretty much constantly since the election. I ate a brownie right after I voted. Didn’t eat the whole thing because I knew I had to give some speeches and they had to make at least some sense, but I don’t think it really made too much of a difference anyways.” He continued, “really if anything, it calmed me down a bit. I don’t think anyone noticed”. Gary Johnson, contrary to what some fake news articles would have you believe, actually slightly helped Clinton in the elections. Johnson stated that when he found out about the results of the election, he “did a dab and passed out”.

Although not specified, The American Tribune believes that Johnson is referring to the practice of inhaling the vaporized Cannabis oil, and not the similarly named dance move popularized by Hillary Clinton. Johnson says that he plans on being high for at least the next 4 years. When asked if he would have done anything different had the election gone the other way, he responded, “No. This was the plan throughout the campaign. I was either going to hold the highest office, or I was going be high in my office”. Johnson won 3.3% of the popular vote, which is the most by any 3rd party candidate in 20 years.